


Something Blue

by ibelieveinturtles



Series: Donuts in My Bra and Other Stories [42]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Darcy Lewis Bingo, F/M, Fluff, Lab Accidents, Multiple Pov, WinterShock - Freeform, blue goo, dlbingo, dlbingo2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26044807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibelieveinturtles/pseuds/ibelieveinturtles
Summary: What happens when Jane combines a toaster, a hair dryer, a curling iron, an ancient VCR, and an old slushy machine in an attempt to make an interdimensional communicator? Not what you’d think.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis
Series: Donuts in My Bra and Other Stories [42]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/669671
Comments: 50
Kudos: 187
Collections: Darcy Lewis Bingo





	1. Personal Assistant

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started this waaaay back in November of 2016 but I’ve tidied it up and remixed it for the Darcy Lewis Bingo.
> 
> Title: Something Blue  
> Collaborator(s): ibelieveinturtles  
> Square (letter, number, and prompt): R5 Fluff and Crack,  
> Pairing/Main Ship: Darcy Lewis/James “Bucky” Barnes  
> Rating: T  
> Warnings/Triggers: N/A  
> Summary: What happens when Jane combines a toaster, a hair dryer, a curling iron, an ancient VCR, and an old slushy machine in an attempt to make an interdimensional communicator? Not what you’d think.  
> Word Count: 7000+

**One**

* * *

If you'd asked 10 year old Darcy Lewis the strangest thing that had ever happened to her, she would have told you it was the day a raccoon broke into her 5th grade classroom and ate all the art projects, leaving behind its own special kind of calling card. 

If you'd asked 16 year old Darcy Lewis the strangest thing that had ever happened to her, she would have said it was the time in chemistry class when someone managed to make their Bunsen burner almost explode, and she lost one and a half eyebrows and three quarters of her fringe.

If you'd asked 20 year old Darcy Lewis the strangest thing that ever happened to her, she would have liked to have said it was that thing with Thor, but couldn't actually say anything because Secret Organisations, thankyouverymuch.

If you'd asked 22 year old Darcy Lewis the strangest thing that ever happened to her, she would have said space elves. "Definitely those asshole space elves, look, there's videos on YouTube," and gone looking for a drink.

Then S.H.I.E.L.D. imploded, Tony Stark invited them to join come work out of Avengers Tower, and even though she didn't know it at the time, it was the first step leading towards the absolute strangest thing - in her WHOLE LIFE - to ever happen to her.

* * *

Steve sighed as he staggered into his room. He’d been away for about a week this time, and the minute he opened the door he smelled it. A room that contained the dirty laundry he forgot to take down to be washed; the pizza he’d been eating when the summons came through (and dumped on top of the dresser as he dashed out the door,) and of course, his gym bag. He could never get the smell out of that, no matter how hard he tried. There had to be a solution to this problem.

With a shake of his head, and another big sigh, he spent fifteen minutes cleaning up the mess as best he could, sprayed some air freshener around, and then just as he was trying to decide whether he should go wash the sweat and grime from his body, or flop on his bed and relax for a minute, his belly rumbled loudly, reminding him how hungry he was. 

The team had only been back a few hours, and the whole time had been spent in medical and debriefing, so after about thirty seconds of internal debate on whether he should eat first or shower first, he headed back out the door. He was halfway to the cafeteria when he realised it had closed before he got home, so he changed direction and headed for the common area on the off chance that someone had cooked or baked in the last couple of days. 

He was in luck. 

There was half a plate of leftover lasagne and a bowl of salad in the fridge, as well as a large container of what looked like chocolate muffins on the bench, (you never could be sure around here.) The lasagne was unmarked, which meant anyone could have it, and the salad had ‘first come, best dressed’ written on the cling wrap. With a brief smile at the pun, Steve claimed both containers and prepared himself a plate. Whilst he was waiting for the microwave to finish doing its thing, he noticed there was someone else in the common room. He wandered over for a closer look, faintly satisfied when he realised that it was Darcy Lewis, assistant to Dr Foster, and general annoyance to anyone who got in their way. He’d met her a few times and thoroughly enjoyed her dark, sarcastic sense of humour, her complete and total lack of awe or reverence for any member of his team, and her tendency to wander around offering unsolicited advice to anyone, on any topic, at any time. Advice, he reflected, that was often insightful, as well as useful.

Whilst he was waiting for his food to heat up his phone beeped with a message. He was needed in yet another meeting in half an hour. So, still no shower, probably just enough time to eat his dinner, and no solution to the problem of his messy room and laundry. He ran his hand over the back of his head and looked around, hoping for a solution to magically jump out from behind the furniture, and show itself to him. His eyes landed on Darcy again.

The microwave dinged it’s completion at the same time that his metaphorical light bulb went off. He grabbed his plate, a fork, and one of the muffins and went over to sit down next to her on the couch.

“Hey, Darcy. How are you doing?” he started casually, taking a mouthful of the lasagne.

“Hey, Steve. Not too bad, how are you?” she replied distractedly, watching something on her tablet, and sipping on a cup of coffee.

“Hmm, good. A bit tired, hungry. You know, the usual post mission condition,” he continued.

“Tough one this time, was it?” She looked up at him this time, and he could see her cataloguing his dirty appearance. “Have you even showered yet?” she asked, her nose wrinkling. “Cause it doesn’t look, or smell, like you’ve showered.”

He laughed softly, shaking his head. “Just long and tedious, but no, I haven’t actually had a chance to clean up yet. So, how are things in the lab at the moment?”

“Eh, so, so,” she said with a small shrug. “Now that Jane’s finally managed to build a full size working wormhole machine prototype she seems to be at a loose end. I mean, you’d expect her to be working on the next model already, right?” Darcy put her cup and tablet down, and twisted to face him.

“Um, yes?” Steve ventured, shoving more food in his mouth and wondering what he’d got himself into.

“Nope,” Darcy said vehemently. “Last I saw, she was trying to build some new gizmo out of a purloined toaster, a hair dryer, a borrowed curling iron, an ancient VCR, a first generation iPhone, and an old slushy machine that she picked up at a garage sale about a year ago. A slushy machine that still has something blue in it! She hasn't even washed it!”

Steve blinked. “That doesn’t sound very...”

“Safe? Technical? Hygienic?” Darcy suggested.

“I was going to say compatible,” Steve said.

“Hmm, yeah, that too,” Darcy said, nodding her head. “But no, she’s busy doing her own thing - I mean, she isn't even writing down her usual gazillion equations, on her usual gazillion pieces of scrap paper, so there isn't even anything for me to translate and rewrite into something that ordinary people would be able to read.” She paused just long enough to draw breath. “She's just playing around with a whole bunch of useless junk and it looked explodey, so I decided to leave her to it for a while, and just check up on her every so often.”

“That... sounds like a wise decision,” Steve agreed, finding his opening. “So what are you doing with yourself instead then? Being at a loose end, that is.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you want?”

“What makes you think I want something?” he asked, carefully keeping his face blank.

“People only ever seem interested in what I’m doing when they want me to do something for them. Spill, Cap.”

“Well, seeing as you mention it, I do need some help,” Steve admitted. “Would you mind doing me a favour? Please?”

“Depends. What’s the favour?” Darcy asked suspiciously.

“Well, I have a meeting in about fifteen minutes, and knowing my luck, we’ll probably be prepping to fly out again straight after that, and...” he paused for a minute, trying to judge from her expression how he was going.

“And...” she prodded, eyes narrowed.

“And I have serious laundry issues. Is there any chance at all...”

“What?” she burst out. “Seriously, you’re asking me to do your laundry for you? There’s people employed already to do that for you, Steve.”

“Wait,” he said as she grabbed her mug and started to get up. “I know that, I just need to get it there, but I don’t have the time right now. Could you just, you know, take my basket down to the laundry for me?” he begged.

“Are you asking me because I'm a woman? Is that it?” she asked, turning to look at him.

“NO! No, I would never… no, I just thought, you're capable and efficient, and I've seen how good you are at getting things done for Dr Foster,” he insisted sincerely, trying to keep himself out of a very dangerous hole.

“I’m not your personal assistant, Steve. Look, why don’t you just stick it outside your door and send them a message to come and grab it in the morning when they start work?” Darcy asked. 

Steve sighed. “Last time I tried that some lowlife stole my underwear,” he confessed sheepishly. “I need someone I can trust.”

Darcy stifled a laugh. “Ew, gross. People really do that? Steal your dirty underwear?”

“Yes,” he admitted. “It’s happened a couple of times now and I really don’t want it to happen again. They ended up on eBay last time. Look, I trust you...” he pleaded.

“Ugh, I’m still not your personal assistant, Steve,” Darcy insisted, but he knew that she was about to give in.

“Please, Darcy? It’ll be five minutes out of your day first thing tomorrow morning, and I’m sure you’ve probably got your own laundry to take down too, right?”

“What’s in it for me?” she asked.

Steve blinked. He hadn’t expected her to agree so easily. “Ah… I’ll owe you a favour?” he suggested.

“What kind of favour?”

“Anything you want,” Steve promised. 

“So, I take your basket down to the laundry for you, and you owe me one favour that I can cash in anytime, for anything?”

“Within reason,” Steve said hurriedly. Who knew what kind of favour she might demand of him. 

“Within reason,” Darcy agreed. “Okay then, I’ll do it. Gimme your key.”

“Thank you so much, Darcy,” Steve said, fishing his keypass out of his pocket and handing it to her. “You have no idea how grateful I am.”

“Yeah, don’t expect me to do it all the time though,” Darcy said, turning on her heel and heading for the sink. “I’m still not your personal assistant!”

A thought slid into his brain. “Maybe you could be,” he said.

“Could be what?” Darcy asked, rinsing her cup and setting it upside down on the edge of the sink to drain.

“Maybe you could be my personal assistant,” he said, peeling the wrapper off his muffin.

“What?” She turned to face him. “Why do you need a personal assistant? Everything you need is delivered to the complex daily, and when you’re not away on missions you have nothing to do, other than train, eat and sleep.” 

“You do know I do a lot more than that, don’t you?” he said pointedly. “There’s plenty of things I could use some help with, and come to think of it, so could some of the others.” He paused as a brainwave struck him at just the right angle. “I know, you could be PA for the whole team,” he finished enthusiastically and took a bite of the muffin as he waited for her reaction. 

She stared at him as if he had lost his mind. “Steve, I already have a job, I don’t have time to be the Avengers Girl Friday as well.”

“Just, think about it,” he insisted. “I’ve seen how bored you are down in the labs recently. Jane really doesn’t have a lot for you to do at the moment, does she?”

“What? How do you-”

Steve stood up, his decision made. “I’ll go and talk to Maria about it, first chance I get,” he said. “You know, I’m sure she said something about needing some help recently too. Just... just think about it, okay?”

Darcy watched him go with a look of astonishment on her face. As he got to the door he took another large bite of the muffin, and then turned back. “This is really good,” he mumbled through a spray of crumbs, and left.

Darcy stood at the sink, trying to figure what had just happened. Shaking her head, she grabbed her tablet from where she’d left it and headed to her room to try and grab some sleep whilst she could.

* * *

The next morning Darcy swung by Steve’s room, grabbed his laundry basket, wrinkled her nose at both the smell and the state of his room, and decided that maybe he was right - he _could_ use some personal assisting at times. Not that she needed to be the one doing it though, mind you! After dropping the basket down at the laundry room, she headed for the lab to see what Jane was up to.

Jane was tinkering with her new gizmo, and Darcy swung idly on a chair as she watched. 

“Jane?”

“Yes, Darcy?”

“What are you actually trying to build there?”

“It's a trans dimensional communication device,” Jane mumbled distractedly, carefully tightening a screw.

“Why?” Darcy asked, spinning the chair around.

“Why what?” Jane replied.

“Why a trans dimensional whatever it is?”

“Darcy, does it matter why?” Jane could feel the tension building in her neck as Darcy kept distracting her from her work.

Darcy shrugged, and continued to spin in the chair. She was quiet for a while, and Jane started to relax again.

“Jane?”

“Yes, Darcy?” Jane sighed as she tried to ignore her assistant.

“I think Steve offered me a job yesterday.”

This got Jane’s attention. “What? A job? What doing?”

“Um, he kind of asked me to be personal assistant to the Avengers,” Darcy told her.

Jane straightened up and looked at her friend carefully. Darcy was wearing an old, threadbare pair of jeans, a large baggy shirt, her hair was dull and looked like it hadn’t been washed for several days, and the spark seemed to have gone out of her eyes. Catching a glimpse of her own reflection in the window, Jane realised she didn’t look much better. She sighed. Maybe it was time to mix things up.

“Maybe you should take it,” she said.

Darcy looked up from where she was now spinning the chair in the other direction, and brought the chair to a sudden stop.

“What? But... you need me, Janey. I can’t leave you alone down here!”

“Darcy, be realistic,” Jane sighed, sitting down next to Darcy. “We have nothing to do down here at the moment. Until the prototype testing is finished, we're at a standstill. You’re bored out of your brain – hell, I’m bored out of my brain! I mean, look at me. I’m trying to build a trans dimensional communication device out of an old curling iron and a slushy machine just so I can talk to a guy that can’t be bothered telling me he’s leaving the planet again.” She sighed again. “Maybe we both need a change.”

“Is that what that thing is?” Darcy said, momentarily sidetracked, and forgetting that they'd already had the ‘what is that thing’ conversation several minutes ago.

“Darcy!”

“Sorry, Jane.”

Jane stood up again. “So, back to the personal assistant thing, he did say you'd get paid, didn’t he?”

“Um, no? He did say he was going to talk to Maria Hill about it though,” Darcy told her.

Jane nodded. “Well if Maria’s involved you’ll definitely be paid and it’ll probably be way more than what I pay you too.”

“You know I don’t do this for the money, Jane,” Darcy said pointedly, “besides, what do I know about being a personal assistant?”

“Actually, quite a lot,” Jane said after a thoughtful moment. “What do you think you’ve been doing for me all these years? I mean, sure, you’ve done a lot more than just personal assisting, but a lot of what you do for me is exactly that. Plus, you might actually get to use your degree.”

Darcy sat up and thought about it. “Huh, you really think so?”

“Absolutely. I think you should do it. Also?” She waited a beat and then continued in a whisper, “Bonus ogling!”

“What?” Darcy’s eyes went wide with surprise.

“Just think about it, you’ll be able to surreptitiously ogle Steve, Nat, Sam, Wanda, and anyone else they get on the team as much as you want.” She paused for a second. “Maybe I’ll join you occasionally.”

Darcy considered this for a moment, and then a broad smile spread itself over her face.

“Well, when you put it like that.”

* * *


	2. Test Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane's trans dimensional communication device is ready for testing.

**Two**

* * *

Weeks passed, and Darcy quickly settled into her new job. To her surprise, it kept her busier than she’d expected and she wasn’t bored any longer. Her new job was a challenge, but she soon mastered the intricacies of dealing with various different superheroes, and they in turn soon learnt which things they could rely on her to deal with, which ones she insisted on taking over anyway, and which ones she insisted were their own problems and she wouldn't touch them with a barge pole.

After several hours of discussion with Maria Hill on what the Avengers might expect from a personal assistant – answer: nothing, they’d never had one before, so it would be a learning curve for everyone - she accepted the position. She then researched the hell out of personal assistanting, signed up to an online personal assistanting course, and threw herself into it with everything she had. Even if assistanting wasn’t actually a real word.

She was also still able to spend a day or two every week down in the lab with Jane - if she was on base - who had finally started working on the Mark 2 Einstein-Rosen Bridge projector thingy, but was also still tinkering with the trans dimensional communication doohickey from time to time, while waiting anxiously for the first stage testing of the Mark 1 Einstein-Rosen Bridge wormhole machine to be completed. All in all, life was pretty sweet.

Then Steve and Sam finally caught up with Bucky Barnes, (although he would later admit that he caught up with them, as he’d finally gotten a bit tired of playing cat and mouse with them,) and brought him home. For the first few months he kept a very low profile and only a few people saw him. All anyone knew was that he was being treated for trauma, and would integrate into the general population of the facility when he was ready.

Darcy’s first encounter with him was when she brought Steve some paperwork to look over, as well as some photos for him to sign so they could be auctioned off in a fan club charity fundraiser. Barnes was on the treadmill, wearing nothing but a loose pair of shorts, electrodes stuck all over his chest and head, doing some sort of evaluation. As she waited for Steve to finish with the photos, she took the opportunity to surreptitiously observe the new arrival in the mirror. The first thing that caught her eye was the way the shorts hung off his hips, hugging his ass and clinging to his thighs.The next thing to catch her eye was the perfect shape of his stomach, and his chest… and those arms. As her gaze swept up past his unkempt jawline she caught his eye in the mirror, and even though she could feel the heat rising in her face as she realised he'd caught her ogling him, she gave him a saucy wink, grabbed the photos that Steve was holding out for her, and flounced out of the room, knowing that he was watching her leave.

“Who was that?” Bucky asked, dragging his eyes away from the door and stepping off the treadmill.

“That's Darcy,” Steve replied, flipping through a report Darcy had left with him. “She's our personal assistant.”

“You have a personal assistant?” Bucky asked, wiping the sweat off with a towel.

“ _ Our _ personal assistant,” Steve corrected him, closing the report and looking at Bucky. “She assists the whole team. Don’t worry, you’ll get to meet her properly soon enough.”

Bucky looked at the door thoughtfully. “What exactly does she assist you all with?”

“Just stuff - makes sure our rooms get cleaned and our laundry delivered when we're on extended missions. Looks after our scheduling and liaises with the publicity team,” Steve said, heading for his office.

“That's a lot of work,” Bucky observed. “She must be good at her job.”

“Things certainly run more smoothly now that she's taking care of us,” Steve admitted, opening his office door.

“Well, I look forward to meeting her properly,” Bucky said, leaning in the doorway as he waited for Steve.

“She brings me paperwork at least once a day,” Steve said. He tossed the report onto his desk before turning back to Bucky. “There'll be plenty of time. Right now though, we've got work to do. You ready for some cross country running?”

Bucky groaned as he followed Steve down the corridor to the office. “I just spent an hour on your damn treadmill Steve, why are we going cross country?”

“Because it's outside and I think you could use a bit of fresh air right now. Plus I want all my team members to be familiar with every corner of the facility, and you might as well start learning your way around.”

“Can’t I just study a map?” Bucky grumbled as Steve led him outside and they set off towards the lake at a steady pace.

Steve and Bucky were very busy with tests, paperwork, meetings, training, and evaluations over the next several weeks, and although they crossed paths with Darcy several times, it was always quick and fleeting, and as Steve was usually in a hurry it meant that every single time, he failed spectacularly at performing a proper introduction. More often than not, Darcy found herself dropping things off before hurrying off to her next task and it didn’t take her long to decide to take matters into her own hands.

“Jane, I need your help!” she declared, bursting into the lab where Jane was tinkering with her new gizmo.

“I’m kind of busy right now, Darcy,” Jane replied.

“Ooh, what are you doing?” Darcy sat down in the nearest chair and leant down to inspect the gadget.

“The trans dimensional communicator is almost ready for testing.”

“It is? Jane, that’s perfect! How do you feel about inviting Steve to come watch?”

Jane paused with her tinkering and squinted up at Darcy. “You just want him to bring that friend of his, don’t you?” 

“He still hasn’t introduced us properly, Jane. It’s been weeks!”

“Doesn’t Steve still owe you a favour?”

“I’m not wasting my favour on something that’s going to happen anyway. I just want to hurry it up that’s all.”

Putting her screwdriver down, Jane wiped her hands on a nearby rag. “Well, I don’t know if he’ll be interested or not but sure. I’ll ask.”

Darcy sat up straight, grinning. “Oh, don’t worry Jane - he’s interested. I talk about you and your doohickeys  _ all _ the time. He’ll say yes.”

* * *

When Bucky and Steve arrived at the lab, Jane and Darcy were trying to calibrate the trans-dimensional communicating slushy machine with little success. Darcy suspected that the curling iron was the problem, whereas Jane thought it might be the toaster. They were both wrong.

The two men watched through the large glass windows for a while as Jane and Darcy finally managed to make the final adjustments to the device, before Steve knocked on the lab door. “Hey Darcy, Jane. Uh, I hope you don’t mind but I brought Bucky along too - he’s a bit of a science geek and wanted to see what you two do down here.”

Darcy was 1000% positive that the temperature in the room skyrocketed at least a whole ten degrees with such solid specimens of hunky manhood in the room, and she suddenly wasn't sure if she'd be able to concentrate on anything other than Bucky's shiny metal arm and muscley muscles. Not to mention those eyes, that hair, his incredibly pink lips... In a surprisingly successful attempt to resist the desire to lick some of the aforementioned muscles, she managed to pull herself together - for the sake of science, of course - and focus on Steve instead. Afterwards however? Well, she was done with the whole look but don't touch thing that was going on with Mr Hot and Shiny, and once the demonstration was over, she was going to ask him out. Or jump on him. Or something. If Steve didn’t like it, he could go jump in the lake.

“Hey, Steve,” she said brightly, “not a problem. Just, stand over there by the window, don't talk, and be ready to run. We have no idea what this thing will do if we ever manage to get it working.”

“Darcy!” came the cry of protest from Jane.

“Okay, okay, it’s probably perfectly safe. Maybe. Just, stand over there. No, over there. Yeah, that’s better.”

Darcy watched them as they shuffled along, and then turned back to the machine. She fiddled with a couple more of the settings, and breathed a sigh of relief as the display on the StarkPad she was using lit up with the green of a successful calibration. 

“Yes! It’s working. Jane, are you ready?”

“Ready,” Jane said, climbing to her feet. “Let’s give it a go then, right?”

Darcy grabbed the StarkPad from the table before she sidled over to the window, past Steve, and slid in between him and Bucky, trying to act normal, and completely failing to not ogle Bucky out of the corner of her eye. For his part, Bucky decided he was in the perfect spot, and surreptitiously shuffled a step or two closer. Jane positioned herself on Steve’s other side, finger on the switch.

“Everybody ready?” she checked, “okay, three, two, one...” she pushed the button.

For a moment nothing happened, and then there was a small spark from one of the toaster slots. After that, the curling wand started slowly spinning in its slot, and the motors of the hair dryer and the slushy machine whirled away happily. For a very short minute, everything was working perfectly. And then it wasn’t. The old VCR started making a strange clicking noise, the slushy machine started whirring more loudly, and then something inside it began to spin.

“Um, Jane, I don’t like the sound of that.” Darcy said, taking a cautious step forward. Someone behind her grabbed her hand, stopping her in her tracks. She glanced back to see Bucky staring intently at the machine, his eyes flickering to meet hers as he licked his lips nervously. 

“It’ll be fine, Darcy. Just give it a minute,” Jane insisted, cutting off whatever anyone else was going to say. 

Darcy peered intently towards its innards.

“I’m pretty sure the slushy machine isn’t supposed to be either making that noise, OR sparking like that,” she insisted.

“Wait, it’s sparking?” Jane took a step to the side to get a better look. “Shit, you’re right. It definitely shouldn’t be doing that, I'd better turn it off.”

As Jane turned back towards the button, something rattled ominously inside the VCR, more sparks flew from the slushy maker and the next thing they all knew, there was a loud BOOM! Blue goo was suddenly flying everywhere in a tornado shaped spiral spurting out of the middle of the machine.

Darcy was abruptly pulled backwards as Bucky yanked on her hand and stepped in front of her while Steve grabbed Jane and pushed her behind him. There was a muffled popping noise, and a spark of electricity arced from the trans-dimensional communication failure to Bucky’s metal arm. Shoving Darcy away, Bucky was enveloped in a whirling, glowing ball of slimey, gooey electricity. Steve and Jane were flung backwards towards the walls of the room, arms up in useless gestures of protection against the fiery glow ball of terror, and Darcy was thrown from her feet, thudding into the window, hitting her head and falling to the floor.

“What the hell is that?”

“Bucky!!”

“Turn it off, Steve, turn it off!!!”

Steve wasn’t sure who was yelling what, but he forced himself up and with an impressive lunge at the wall, managed to turn the power off. The glowing ball of goo and electricity continued to whirl around for a few more seconds, and then it collapsed in a big, splashy splash of mucky goop, adding another layer of slime to everyone in the room.

Steve leaned against the wall with a loud sigh of relief, and wiped the goop off his face. Then he looked around. He was covered, from head to toe, in the blue... stuff, as was Jane, who was still huddled against the wall next to him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, crouching down in front of her, one hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m fine, but- Darcy’s not moving,” she said, starting to climb to her feet.

He glanced over at Darcy, who was lying up against the window. He’d barely taken a step towards her when there was a loud groaning from the floor next to Jane’s device. Glancing over, he blinked in surprise. 

Lying in the middle of the room were two bodies, instead of the one he’d been expecting. 

* * *


	3. Result Analysis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the explosion.

**Three**

* * *

“Bucky?” Steve said in quiet disbelief.

One of the Buckys stirred, and moaned. The other one rolled over onto his back, and started swearing, softly and creatively. Steve shifted from his position next to Jane, moving in front of her, and then took a wary step forward. Jane grabbed his arm.

“Okay, is there something wrong with my eyes, or I am seeing double?” Jane asked, “because I’m sure I’m looking at two Barneses in the middle of my lab floor.”

“I don’t think it’s your eyes,” Steve muttered, “‘cause I see two Buckys as well.”

Both Buckys were moving now, sitting up, and staring at each other in shock.

“How the hell did that happen?” Jane whispered from behind Steve.

Bucky on the left was tentatively reaching out towards his doppelganger when Jane suddenly pushed past Steve to place herself between them, hands up to stop them from moving.

“Don’t touch each other. You don’t know what will happen,” she almost shrieked.

They both stopped in their tracks and stared at her. 

“Like what?” they demanded in tandem.

“I don’t know,” Jane said, shaking her head vigorously. “Maybe if you touch each other, you’ll cancel each other out, or you’ll merge into a giant blob of blue goo, or ... or ... I don’t know!” Jane wailed.

“Is that likely to happen?” Both Buckys asked as they carefully got to their feet without touching each other, and then the Bucky on the left noticed Darcy, who was just starting to move. He stumbled over to kneel down beside her as the second Bucky followed behind him in perfectly synchronised steps, keeping a careful distance so as not to freak Jane out any more than she already was.

“Darcy? Darcy, are you okay?” Jane called from behind the wall of Buckys.

Darcy shifted, groaned, and opened her eyes. They went wide at the sight of the dripping, blue-covered Bucky, and she sighed audibly.

“Holy fuck, if you still aren’t the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen,” she said dreamily, and then she caught sight of the second Bucky standing behind the first Bucky and her eyes went wider. “Oh, and now there’s two of you. Best. Dream. Ever,” she sighed happily, her gaze switching lazily between the two men.

Steve’s muffled laughter went unnoticed by both Buckys, who were grinning at Darcy happily.

Steve sidled over to Jane. “So... I’m guessing that wasn’t supposed to happen?” he said casually.

Jane looked around at him in a daze. “Um, well, that’s not what I expected to happen. I was trying to build a trans-dimensional communication device...” she trailed off as she looked back at Darcy and the two Buckys.

“But, two Buckys? How did that happen?” Steve asked. 

“I have no idea,” Jane murmured softly.

As they watched, both Buckys simultaneously reached out to help Darcy up, and then with a quick glance, and by some sort of unspoken agreement, one Bucky took Darcy’s hand and pulled her to her feet, while the other Bucky circled around, carefully avoiding his twin, to check on her from the back.

“Why are we all blue?” Darcy asked in confusion, looking around the inundated lab. “What the hell happened in here?”

“Um, I think it might have been the slushy-making component,” Jane confessed. “Maybe I should have cleaned it properly before using it.”

Darcy shook her head and rolled her eyes at Jane. “Oh my god, Jane. Really? Ugh. Right, first things first,” she declared, holding a hand up. “Just, gimme a minute.” 

She bent over, hands on her knees, and took several slow, deep breaths while everyone else watched. After a minute or two, she lifted her head, and squinted her eyes at the two Buckys who were watching her with concern.

“Are you okay?” they asked in unison.

“Yep, I’m good. Or, I will be,” she reconsidered. She paused and cocked her head to one side. 

“Are there really two of you or is this another dream?” she asked.

“No dream,” the two men said together with matching smiles.

“Excellent, fantastic,” she said, giving the whole room a big thumbs up. “Go me. Right.” She took one last deep breath and straightened up.

“Okay, I think I'm good now.” Darcy stretched, then groaned at the sight of herself covered in bright blue slime. She looked around at the mess, and then realised that the other three four people in the room were dripping with blue slime as well.

“Right, first things first...” She paused. “Did I already say that?” She shook her head again, then groaned and put a hand to her head. “Ouch. Okay, safety shower, everyone, right now!” She pointed to the corner. “Then, we go into the next room, and go from there,” she said, decisively taking charge in spite of her condition.

“You know, I didn’t ever see why we’d need one of these in my lab,” Jane said, stripping off her outer layers and reluctantly dumping them in the toxic waste bin, “but boy am I glad they insisted,” she continued, stepping underneath the large shower head and pulling on the handle, drenching herself in water. Steve politely averted his eyes as soon as she started removing clothing, but the other three watched intently as she slowly washed off the goo, leaving a dull, blue stain on every inch of skin - not just where the slimy substance had touched directly, but everywhere it had soaked right through Jane's clothes.

“Alright, everyone else too,” Darcy ordered, already following Jane’s example. “Down to your underwear, boys. This is not the time to be shy; safety first.” Wearing nothing but her bra and panties, she took her turn under the rush of the water, rinsing as much of the goo as possible from every part of her body. Neither Bucky was able to take his eyes off her as they too removed their goo covered clothing, their movements in strangely perfect time with each other.

As the first Bucky stepped under the shower, Darcy followed Jane into the next room where there were towels, and an emergency landline.

After drying off and wrapping towels around both her head and body, Darcy picked up the phone and dialled, turning to face the glass window so she could keep an eye on Steve and the Buckys. Who was she to pass up a free show?

Darcy’s attention returned to the phone as it was picked up at the other end.

“Hey, Maria. How are you today?” she said brightly, checking out first one Bucky, then the other.

“Well, I'm good so far,” Maria replied “How are you?”

“Oh good, good. Hey look, I kind of need a favour.”

“Is this like the time you ordered 50,000 wing nuts by mistake?” Maria asked.

“No, no, nothing like that. No, there’s been a little accident in Jane’s lab...” She continued watching as the first Bucky stepped out and Steve stepped in to the safety shower. Beside her, Jane held a towel to her head, temporarily pausing the act of drying her hair while avidly watching the clean up.

“When you say ‘little accident’ do you mean someone broke a beaker?” 

Darcy cringed to herself - she could almost see the look of suspicion on Maria’s face.

“No, no, nothing like that either, but can you do a couple of things for me, please?” Darcy begged.

“I'm going to regret something here aren't I?”

“Probably yes.”

“What do you need?” Maria sighed.

“Well first, I need the laboratory video footage secured, and then I need a top clearance clean up crew down here asap,” Darcy said.

“What did you break?” Maria asked, and her tone of voice had changed from ‘I can deal with this, I can deal with this’ to ‘oh fuck, what have they done now?’ 

“Oh no, nothing important broke,” Darcy assured her. “There’s just... a bit of a mess down here.”

“Darcy, where you and Jane are concerned, there's always a bit of a mess.”

“Yeah, I know, we’re really sorry. I mean, it's not like we do it on purpose, right?”

“Right,” Maria agreed in a doubtful tone.

“Oh and one more thing - I saw that Helen Cho is here consulting at the moment... I think that maybe you should ask her to come down to the lab too. We could probably all use a check up, just to be on the safe side.”

“Who do you mean by all?” Maria asked, a note of wariness in her voice.

”Me, Jane, Steve and … and Bucky Barnes. You know, maybe you should come down, too. It’s probably better if you come see in person.” 

As the conversation continued, the other Bucky took his turn in the shower and by the time Darcy said goodbye and hung up, he and Steve had joined the first Bucky and all three were drying themselves off in the other room.

Jane had finally started rubbing at her hair with the towel properly, and they both just stared at the three men for a moment. They were all stained blue, from head to toe. The goo had even penetrated their shoes.

“You know,” Jane said idly, “if they start blowing up into actual blueberries, I am NOT responsible.”

Darcy giggled. “So we could call one of the Bucky’s Violet?”

Jane sniggered.

“Anyway,” Darcy continued, “if they start turning into giant blueberries, so will we.”

When Maria arrived, the first thing she did was stare woodenly for several seconds at the two Buckys before turning to Steve and Jane with a look of long term suffering on her face.

“You know, each of you is bad enough on your own, but do I need to worry about you all getting together and joining forces against me now?” she asked. “Do I really want to know what happened here?”

“Well, we’re not even sure what happened,” Darcy said, examining her blue skin closely, “but if it’s any consolation, the machine is probably fried, and it won’t ever happen again?”

Maria fixed a steady gaze on Darcy who just shrugged.

“So how were you planning on cleaning the mess up?” Maria asked next.

Darcy thought for a moment. “Well, I think we should collect as much of the goo stuff as possible into biohazard containers and lock it up somewhere very safe for now? And then just, I dunno, hose the shit of the place? I mean, that's why we have the self contained drainage system right? Then it can be decontaminated. Unless anyone has a better idea?” She looked around, but no one seemed ready to volunteer any suggestions.

“I can’t think of anything better,” Steve admitted.

“It will do for now, I suppose,” Maria said. “The biohazard cleanup crew will be here shortly and in the meantime, I alerted Dr. Cho that she’s needed, so you can go straight up. Helen should be ready for you by the time you get there.”

Maria took another look at the group. “Maybe I should clear medical and the intermediary areas first,” she said thoughtfully. “And get you all something to wear.”

* * *

It didn't take long for clothing to arrive - as soon as Maria brought her up to speed, Dr. Cho sent down several sets of the high fashion hospital robe and pants that Pepper insisted they kept in supply. Darcy chose one with large bright flowers, Jane chose bluebirds, Steve just went for a simple dark blue, and the two Buckys conferred for a minute, before one chose orange paisley and the other chose purple paisley.

Not long after that they walked into the almost deserted medical wing where the resident doctor was waiting with Dr. Cho to check them all out.

Helen was waiting for them when they arrived, and after a momentary lapse where she just gaped at the little group, she recovered quickly and professionally.

“What happened?” she asked calmly, separating the two Buckys.

“There was an explosion in the lab,” Darcy and Jane said at the same time, high fiving each other.

“Tell me exactly what happened,” Helen demanded. “Don't leave out any detail.”

After the tale was told, in a very disjointed and haphazard manner, Dr. Cho sent the victims to an examination room where each of them was given a full check up.

After they’d been poked, prodded, breathed in, breathed out, offered up a blood sacrifice, and said ‘aaaaahh’, Helen declared that they all seemed perfectly fine, apart from being blue. 

“So what now?” Jane asked as Helen Cho finished up.

Helen and Maria exchanged a glance.

“Well, I still need to run tests on the blood samples I took from each of you, and I'll want samples of the substance you were all in contact with, but otherwise you're free to go,” Helen said.

“What about Bucky?” Steve asked, looking at Maria.

Maria folded her arms and looked at them all sternly.

“You're all free to go but I want you to stay on base until I say otherwise, no going anywhere,” she said calmly. “And maybe stay away from the more public areas for a while,” she added as an afterthought. 

“Like I'm gonna go out looking like this,” Darcy said dryly, poking at her blue skin. “Think I'm just gonna go have a proper shower and lounge around in bed or something.”

“As for Bucky and … what _do_ we call you two?” Maria asked curiously, looking at the two men who seemed to have taken on the role of Darcy protectors, placing themselves on either side of her.

They looked at each other, and a silent conversation seemed to take place. “Ah, we'll get back to you on that,” they said in unison.

“Okay,” Maria said uncertainly, “Bucky and Other Bucky need to … do they still need to keep away from each other?” She turned to Jane this time.

“I've got no idea what will happen if they come into contact with each other,” Jane admitted. “I mean, it could be anything.”

“It's probably safest if they keep away from each other for now,” Helen added.

“But what kind of thing do you think could happen?” Maria insisted. “If there's any chance they could be a threat to this base then I need to know.”

“Oh come on,” Darcy piped up. “They're not gonna put the base in any danger, I mean look at them, they're blue, like… giant Smurfs. They're cute and cuddly.” She grinned up at each Bucky in turn, and they grinned back.

“Darcy, Bucky's not cute and cuddly, he's lethal and dangerous,” Steve said, and then threw the Bucky twins an apologetic look. “Sorry, Buck.”

“Steve has a point,” they said, shrugging. “We are dangerous.”

“That goes without saying,” Maria said, “but I'm more concerned with the potential of you two causing fireworks or explosions if you get too close to each other.”

“Well, I don't actually know if that's what will happen,” Jane admitted. “It's only a theory at this point. It's more likely that nothing will happen.”

“You wanna test your theory out and possibly put both Buckys and the entire base in danger?” Steve asked heatedly. 

As the debate on whether or not to keep them separated got heated, the two Buckys took the matter into their own hands – after a brief whispered conversation using Darcy as a go between, they stepped around her, shook hands, promptly started screaming, ‘oh the pain, I’m melting, I’m melting,’ and then calmly stepped back and acted as if nothing had happened.

Steve swore at them. Dr. Cho had to sit down. Jane began scolding them at the top of her voice, and Darcy just laughed, and laughed, and laughed. Maria shook her head, and asked no one in particular why she got stuck with all the idiots, fools and clowns. It was at this stage that Helen Cho kicked them all out of medical, muttering about returning to Seoul as soon as possible. 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm marking this as complete for now as this is all I've managed to make comprehensible 😂 words have been hard this year, even when I'm just editing/revising/rebuilding but I'm trying.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find my My Tumblr at [ibelieveinturtles](http://ibelieveinturtles.tumblr.com/)  
> Also, if you're reading this as a guest and would like an account, I have invites.


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